Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I haven't written in a while. I won't be able to write as frequently until I move into a new place.

Plans have changed... again... about our living situation. Ivan and I have decided that we need to live together. WITHOUT the other two roomates. Me and Ivan want to work on our own lives. We are going through the proper steps to clean up our credit and to buy a house in the future. We won't be able to do that while taking care of two other guys who don't have their shit together. So now I'm busy finding something new. At least the rental screening people are happy with me. I've got all my stuff taken care of. Now to get after Ivan...

Oh Wow

I got in touch with the rental management company today. Got an appointment set up to go see the inside of the blue house we are interested in. Found out that for an extra 500 a month we can rent the 8 acres that is attached to the 1/2 acres the house sits on. How cool! From the short conversation I had with the guy on the phone, they separated the acreage from the house because it wasn't being rented. Makes me feel more sure about getting the place.

I just need to get out of the house I'm sharing with my roommate. I'm going to go insane not being able to write when I want to and not being able to trust who I'm living with. Soon though, very soon this whole mess of drama will be over. Then I'll be living with my sweet Ivan and his friends. Well they are my friends now too. I've stayed over at their place every night for about a week now. They even had a key made for me to their apartment.

So here goes nothing. Taking the applications to rent over to the guys. Handing them in tomorrow. Hoping they are anxious to get some renters into the place.

I'll let you all know how it all goes.

And then....

So ever since the roomate discussion, I have been actively looking for a house to rent. One that would suit the four of us. There would have to be a certain amount of privacy for me in order to survive with three guys. One that would fit our budget and one that would let me keep my sweet puppy Daisy.

*NOTE TO SELF: MUST QUIT REFERRING TO DAISY AS A PUPPY. SHE IS TWO AND A HALF. NO LONGER A PUPPY.

Ivan and I have driven around looking at potential homes and dismissed each and every one of them. Until yesterday...

Yesterday I was armed with a list of 9 potential houses. Complete with a description, the address and even a map to each house. The four of us drove around for six hours. Making a decision at the end of the day on the house that was best for us. Monday I'm going to call up the Rental Management Company and talk to the agent about when and how we can get into the house.

This house sits on a 1/2 acre lot. Not too small and not too big for us. Has plenty of room to park and even a spot for my quad and Ivan's motorcycle. If I remember right, the ad said there was a walk in pantry *YAY and an extra freezer. We'll have two big freezers! I peeked in the window and the kitchen has a "country" feel to it. The yard was big. Perfect for me. Lots of room for a garden for next summer. I can't wait to get to walk through the house to get a better idea on the layout of the place.

Oh yeah also. Did I forget to mention.....

Ivan gave me a promise ring. On the way to the Ellensburg rodeo. That way I would be able to wear it through out the weekend. Can't even describe how happy I am. I've been walking in clouds for days. I love that guy so much. I can't wait to live with him. Can't wait to start creating a home with him. Even with the two roomates. Creating a home like atmosphere for those two is only going to benefit them.

So needless to say: "Happy, happy, joy, joy"

I'M BACK!!!

Well I guess getting to the library every day is a little harder than I had expected. Not being able to write has been very hard on me and there have been times where I've felt like screaming due to all the bottled up emotions I've had. But finally, a moment to myself, just a small time slot in my busy life that I'm able to dedicate to myself. So here I write.

The last time I had written, I was just about ready to sit down and talk with my roomate about all the "problems" we had been having. I wasn't much looking forward to the discussion and knew that the evening was going to be stressful and emotional.

Started out with her coming home from wherever she was and I was at the computer. We made small talk for a while. Then she says to me that she was sorry about everything that's been going on lately. She said sorry for everything that she said to Garret about me that one night at the bar. Blamed it on being drunk. Said she didn't even remember what all she said to him. Claimed she didn't remember talking to Ivan that night either. Told her being drunk wasn't an excuse and she agreed with me.

We talked about all the other stuff she had to say about me that wasn't very nice or very true. Her first move was to deny saying any of it. I told her that if she was going to lie to me than she was really wasting both of our time. So she admited to it and said the reason she said those things was because she was jeleous. Jeleous of the time I spend with Ivan that I used to spend with her, jeleous of the attention that I get from other people, jeleous of me being my typical happy go lucky self.

She started crying and said she was sorry about it all. That she hoped we could work it out some how where we could still live together. Told her that I couldn't. That no matter what, no matter how good friends we are (or were for that matter) that I wouldn't ever be able to trust her like I did when we first moved in together. Let her know that I've decided to find a place somewhere to live with Ivan. She cried some more but seemed ok with it. The rest of the night was pretty peaceful.

DOOMED

Well here shortly in a little while I'm going to meet up with the horrible no good very bad roommate. Going to sit down with her and have that talk that she wanted to have. Considering the mood I'm in from work, I think her timing was bad. I'm so grumpy and so sleepy that anything she tries to pull over on me is going to be called bullshit.

I find this whole situation tiresome, irritating and draining. I spent some time at work today asking random people if they had a room for rent. Problem is is that most people around me are men. So I talk to Ivan on the phone and ask him how he would feel if I rented a room from one of the old timers I work with. He said that he trusted me, but it would make him feel uneasy. So I told him that I wouldn't. I love him too much to compromise our relationship with something like that. So then I start thinking about looking through the want ads and finding someone who wants a girl for a roommate. Another girl that is.

Then Ivan throws another wrench in the works. "You want out that bad?" He says. Hell yes I do. I don't want to live with her any longer than I have to. Waiting till his lease expires in February is way too long of a wait for me. I want out now. We have a new plan now. Sweetie pie and his two roommates want out of their lease. They are going to break their lease, and we are all going to rent a house together.

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST AGREE TOO??????

One good thing. If I can't live with Ivan while renting a place, I'll know for sure that I don't want to buy one with him. We figure that since today is the first of the month, we will give ourselves one month to get everything figured out.

I feel like I'm getting ready to start another crazy chapter in my life. Keep reading, because I'm going to have to keep writing.

Relaxation?

Now that I'm finally able to write somewhere without constantly looking over my shoulder, or constantly trying to figure out how to hide this from someone, isn't it time that I get pissed off at something else?

Sure, how about work. Today my bosses boss got our crew together to bitch about us not working hard enough. Apparently there were 1400 work hours turned in and only 900 of those hours accounted for. So that means our crew spent 500 hours not working last month. Too bad I wasn't around for all the bullshitting sessions that they seem to think we had.

Bosses anyway, what the hell do they know? See we got all of the easy work done, now we are stuck with all the pieces that don't seem to fit together just right. It takes more time trying to cut, re-weld, re-make, modify or just plain start over than it does to simply install something. Do those pencil pushers take that into account? Probably not. As far as I go, I'm the welder on our crew, and I have to spend time moving all my tools from floor to floor trying to take care of loose ends. Do they take that into consideration? Once again, probably not.

I'm also the only one from our crew that's on the 8th floor. I've been up there for weeks. These things I'm welding together are HUGE. Heavy too. So when I need help moving them around, I have to go find someone. I have no radio, so I don't really know where to start. There was one day where I had to go all the way down to the first floor before I finally found someone. That right there is a huge waste of time. Bosses don't look at that either. They just look at the final product and don't seem to have a clue about what it took to get it there.

Another thing bossman said was that in about 3 weeks or so they are going to start with layoffs from this job. What was it he said again? Oh yeah that's right:

"You are all smart enough to know who is getting laid off, so don't be surprised when it happens."

Well now, let me see here. We have an awsome crew. In my opinion anyway. So who would get put on that list? I have an idea of who. There are three on that list, myself included. If they had to get rid of one of the two apprentices, it would be me over the Nater-Bater. Doesn't hurt my feelings any, that's how construction is. I will, however give my company a little bit of hell before I go.

My company is a little bit shady on following union rules. There are a handful that I'm sure are being broken. I'm going to educate myself on the exact wording in our contract, and I'm going to make the bosses abide by those union rules. Some of them might be petty, but rules are rules. If you want to be a union contractor, you follow union rules. So neener neener neener. If I'm going, I might as well go out with a bang.