I'M BACK!!!

Well I guess getting to the library every day is a little harder than I had expected. Not being able to write has been very hard on me and there have been times where I've felt like screaming due to all the bottled up emotions I've had. But finally, a moment to myself, just a small time slot in my busy life that I'm able to dedicate to myself. So here I write.

The last time I had written, I was just about ready to sit down and talk with my roomate about all the "problems" we had been having. I wasn't much looking forward to the discussion and knew that the evening was going to be stressful and emotional.

Started out with her coming home from wherever she was and I was at the computer. We made small talk for a while. Then she says to me that she was sorry about everything that's been going on lately. She said sorry for everything that she said to Garret about me that one night at the bar. Blamed it on being drunk. Said she didn't even remember what all she said to him. Claimed she didn't remember talking to Ivan that night either. Told her being drunk wasn't an excuse and she agreed with me.

We talked about all the other stuff she had to say about me that wasn't very nice or very true. Her first move was to deny saying any of it. I told her that if she was going to lie to me than she was really wasting both of our time. So she admited to it and said the reason she said those things was because she was jeleous. Jeleous of the time I spend with Ivan that I used to spend with her, jeleous of the attention that I get from other people, jeleous of me being my typical happy go lucky self.

She started crying and said she was sorry about it all. That she hoped we could work it out some how where we could still live together. Told her that I couldn't. That no matter what, no matter how good friends we are (or were for that matter) that I wouldn't ever be able to trust her like I did when we first moved in together. Let her know that I've decided to find a place somewhere to live with Ivan. She cried some more but seemed ok with it. The rest of the night was pretty peaceful.